Executive summary; we lost 7-0.
(Track 1) Leamington brought out the big guns this week after being shocked by the ill tempered squadron's hockey prowess two Sunday's prior. Or at least they tried to. But when your Men's 1•t team play in the lowest Midlands Men's league your ringers aren't going to be that great. Such as the man who took short back and sides a little too literally. He had the ability move the ball left to right but not a lot else ( nice guy though). Also the guy who kept playing slip passes the other week must have read my previous match report as he only did it once this match. (Track 2) Some may have considered WMSHC to have fielded a side that was quite not to full strength. With some "big names" absent. Below is a list of reasons for absences from the team;
Harry - secret girlfriend duties (she escaped from the basement)
Gurdy - another one on secret girlfriend duties (Asian parents, has it been arranged? Tbf that's his only hope)
Cameron - seeing mother for mother's day (also counts as girlfriend duties)
Thornton - Katie Berwick where was your boyfriend?
(Track 3) Generally, in hockey of a reasonable standard if a player makes repeated stick tackles they are penalized with a green or yellow card. This means the game flows properly and shit play isn't allowed to occur. We put in some shit tackles but my god some of Leamington's where so disgraceful ldi Amin would have been ashamed. First half wasn't too bad their "good women" scored what was practically a golf shot as she had so long to tee it up. Tbf Christian should have done better. We had some chances too? Clearly Leamington recognized the MVP Richard from the previous game a launched a three man marking team to ensure he could not change the game's outcome singled handed like many had speculated he would. Half time it was 2-0?
(Track 4) Second half we fell apart a bit. Their 44 scored some nice push in goals when Christian had been passed around. Still doesn't stop him being a twat. Clearly he's scored a few goals this season in a shit league against shit tea ms and now thinks he's a big guy. But when he's on goal and gets absolutely sat down by someone who ca n actually play hockey (sponsored) he has a hissy fit and had to throw my stick away. Prick. We put a decent amount of pressure on towards the end of the match as Leamington's more senior players tired. We probably deserved a goal and seven makes them look better than they were. I think if they played Birmingham then they would have lost 4 or 5 nil. (Track 5) Also the fat umpire in the hoody was so moody. Like yeah we get it you volunteered to do it. But every time you play in goal (I ca n only assume she's a keeper because 1. Lack of fitness and 2. Her size obturates alot of the goal) someone volunteers to umpire your games so don't be so moody about it when it's your turn, maybe she was just hungry?
{Track 6) All in a bit of a shit result when we had played some nice attacking hockey at times and were able to control the games at times. We probably should go over what a press is in training again (Katie and Vicki). Anyway bring on NAMS, rumor has it leuan is getting a keg for the pitch side using Medsoc money.
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#Katie4pres Appendix A
1. Whitney Houston - My love is your love
2. Rose Royce - Love don't live here anymore
3. Janet Jackson -Together again
4. Prince and the Revolution - Purple rain
5. Foreigner - I want to know what love is
6. Walker Brothers - The sun ain't gonna shine anymore
7. Fergie - Big girls don't cry
8. Hot Chocolate - It started with a kiss
9. George Michael - Fastlove (8 minute extended edit)